Sick of being sick, or sick of not getting my own way?

For those who don't know, I am 17 and currently doing my year 12 homeschooling! What relevance does this have to my post? Well let me go on!

A few years back, I got myself into an argument with my brother being the rough and physical family we are, he then tried to throw a punch at me so I ran away! While running through the kitchen I got stuck at an open cupboard and so my brother pushed me into this open cupboard! Result: I hit my jaw on the cupboard shelf and got major whiplash, it effected my Jaw, back, shoulders and neck! So there was a lot of trips to the Physio's and what not to try and help with my injuries.. but alas they had already taken their toll, instead of my usual 9pm-7am sleep I started getting less and less, till I was going to sleep at 2am and waking up at 3-4am, it was horrible living off such little sleep!!! With lack of sleep comes a lot of other things too, a massive drop in school grades, sickness, enormous over tiredness, the beginnings of depression*which I battled off* and all the sorts! I was truly a wreck!

To this day, those injuries bombard me regularly, whether it be my Jaw randomly popping out of place, or my back muscles having a spasm attack! It really makes doing the things I love (such as cricket and farm work) very hard! And my sleeping pattern sometimes goes crazy again *recently its been really bad*
As well as the physical problems I am stuck with, there are the emotional and mental things! I went from being in Grade 10 and being 2 years ahead in school, to now being almost half a year behind in my year12 work, I should of been finished school last year or the year before *according to the rate I was going* But now I am stuck with this force of pure frustration, everyday its the same old pattern of not getting much school at all, wasting way too much time on Facebook and having my parents go off at me for not doing enough school!
And I get these recurring thoughts where its like "What is the point of wasting my time doing school!?"

But what I am trying to figure out is.. am I sick of being sick? Or am I sick of not getting things the easy way, when I want and how I want? If I were to compare my 'Struggles' with those of others, I think I would soon realize that as much as it hurts, as much as it is tough, what I feel is nothing compared to some people... In the end it comes down to mind over matter! Yes, I am having trouble physically, but my main struggle is the emotional and mental one! I feel myself bending to the point of breaking, but I am being stretched and really I am learning more and more, I guess this is all a growing time!!!
Just ask anyone who has known me over the last couple of years, yeah I am still the random crazy chick I have always been, but with that has come a lot more of the christian qualities I so badly need! Tolerance would be the big one, tolerance of other peoples personalities, their needs and their wants, tolerance of pain and hardships, tolerance when things just aren't going my way! Obviously I am not suddenly perfect or anything but here is an example of how my tolerance has grown:
So there is this girl I have known for years and years, when we were younger, we never liked each other, in fact I simply could not stand her!!! I could not tolerate her personality, it conflicted with mine so badly that she just drove me insane!! But awesomely last year, after years of dislike for each other, We started chatting again via Facebook, things were still a bit rough, but it was a start! I guess we had both matured a lot and so we were able to tolerate each other! Now we have restored our friendship, and we are like Sisters, though things can be rough still, but all friendships are like that! So it is just crazy how God can grow us, in ways that allow us to make friends with people we never thought we would ever get along with!!!

The more I reflect the more I realize, its not being sick, that I am sick of.. it's the not getting what I want, when I want, how I want it and where I want it!!! It's greed and human nature, trying to break out and take control! But I need to hold and keep God in control! He is the only one who can ever make me truly happy!! :D I'm not looking for sympathy, or recognition or anything of the likes! I just wanted to share where I am at at the moment and what has been going on with me recently! :D

Hope Ya'll Enjoy,
Jazz =)

Seeing is Believing?

There is a common saying that goes something like 'Seeing is Believing' and yeah I guess it is.. I mean think about it, how many times have you chosen not to believe something until you have seen it for yourself?

But I am thinking about 'Seeing is Believing' and I am beginning to wonder of maybe it would be more or just as accurate to say 'Believing is Seeing' let me explain this 'saying'

The reason I thought of this is: When we Believe in God, we are seeing the deeper meaning of life, we are seeing the hidden things that only believers can truly see!!! Believing (in God) is seeing miracles take place before our eyes!!! Believing is seeing the problems in this world and wanting to change them!!! Believing is seeing that every cloud has a silver lining!!!

This is really just food for thought, but I mean seriously, think on it.. Believing is seeing, just as much as seeing is believing!!! I would love to hear your thoughts on this!

Laters, Jazz =) 

The God-Pilot Analogy!

I was thinking about people who say "I don't have enough faith or trust to believe in God" or "How do you expect me to give my life over to someone I don't even know exists?" These people say: "Why would I put my life, trust and faith in someone I can't see? Sure I can 'Hear God's voice', sure I can 'See God's works' but how do I know these things are from God and not just my imagination or the works of people? How do I know God isn't just some made up 'Story' designed to make people feel safe, loved and secure?"
As I thought about these things, I thought of this: "People can go hop in a plane, they put their lives, trust, and faith in the pilot and his abilities to keep them safe and well. They can't see this pilot, they can hear his voice over the speakers, they can see his work, in that he is flying the plane. But how do they know for sure that there is a pilot? How do they know that it isn't all just some 'story' to make people feel safe?"
In this analogy what is the difference between God and the Pilot? I simply cannot see a difference!!! Next time someone asks why they should put faith in something they can't see, as in God, mention an analogy like this, it's not made to prove a point, it's not made to judge people, it is simply to get them thinking about what faith is and how much of it they really have!

God Bless~ Jazz =)

Potential

Potential.. as I sat there, the word wouldn't leave my mind! Potential, it echoed in my mind getting louder and louder.. Potential... Then I began thinking. What is Potential? "Adj: Having or showing the capacity to develop into something in the future.
Noun: Latent qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success or usefulness" 

Then I realised, potential is something people struggle with everyday, I personally have been struggled with it. The way people struggle with potential is they begin to think they have no potential, they think "I am worthless", "I have no future", "How could I ever change the world?", "How could I do anything for the good of mankind?" ect.. They think "I have no potential" 

That is one of the biggest lies anyone could ever tell themselves! Everyone single person on earth has potential! Everyone has the chance to change the world, everyone is worth more then they will ever know! The way you grew up doesn't determine whether you have potential, what you look like doesn't determine whether you have potential, your grades at school don't determine whether you have potential.. In fact, you don't need to determine whether you have potential or not, because everyone has potential!!! God has a plan for you and if you are willing to live by his plan he can help you reach your highest potential! :)

Hope you Enjoy,
Jazz =)

Favourite Christian Bands/songs

Hey all just for something a bit different, What are some of your favourite Christian bands/songs?? comment below!

Here are some of mine:

• Francesca Battistelli: her song "Beautiful Beautiful" is one of my favourites
  
• Britt Nicole
  
• Hillsong/ Hillsong United
  
• Chris Tomlin
  
• Matt Redman
  
• Relient K
  
• Switchfoot
  
• Tenth Avenue North: "By your side" is a great song
  
• Jesus Culture
  
• Tim Hughes 

There are heaps more I could add to the list but these are the first 10 that came to mind :P 

God's love :)

As I sat there praying, I suddenly had the urge to sing, so without even really thinking I started singing:
"Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and trialed
You are
Te word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen"

I hadn't sung this song for over a year, I hadn't even heard it for ages! I don't even know how I knew the words.. But somehow during that time of fasting and prayer on the Monday at APJ, God put the words of that song on my heart.. As I sang it, God's love for us, for me, was really revealed to me! I mean God gave his ONLY son Jesus to DIE on the cross for OUR sins, for MY sins.. The perfect sinless man, payed the price for my sin! But why? Why would he pay such a high price for me? Simple but true answer: Because he Loves me!"
Something I have heard a fair bit recently is: "Why did God create us? Because he wants to share his love with us!" And that is so true! God didn't just make us to keep him company, to have dominion over the earth, or glorify him! He also made us so that he could love us!

#Reflection,
Jazz =) 

Randomness :P

OH MY GOSH!!!!! I just discovered the fact that you can make the text different colours on here.. :P I am so slow sometimes :P well I haven't actually done much blogging on the actual computer as of yet, most of its been on Mobile Phones.. I love different coloured text!!! :D :P 


LOL ok ok, enough with the craziness!!! :D I just feel so happy at the moment and I can't explain why, or express the happiness... its like... During January while attending APJ-Sydney.. Everything suddenly clicked and now I understand God soooo much better!!! Its just simply amazing!! :D *I'm not saying I understand God completely or anything.. more like I have gone from totally not understanding him, to having a basic understanding of him* I hope that made sense :)

One day (the Monday) at APJ, I kinda had a facepalm moment where it was like "Duh!! See how good God is!? See how awesome he is?! See how he has always been here looking out for you and loving you even when you neglected him!?" And now I can see how he HAS always been there for me!!! Its a bit eye opening :)

Anyways this is all just really random!!! All I know is I love God, he is awesome, and he makes life soooo much more worth it!!!! :D

Lol, enjoy :P
Jazz =)